What is home? Where is home? Is it the place where you was born? Is it the place where you grew up? Or it’s the place you’re living in right now? If you asked me “where is your home?” 2 years ago, or even 1 year ago, I’d have said “Moscow” without hesitation. However, living away from home always makes things a bit… different.
I think it first started in 1991 or 1992, when our house in the village of Namtsi was under renovation. It took, I believe, a year or so. I didn’t see any inconvenience in it, I was a kid and it was like an adventure: in the summer I was living in a R.V with my parents, my sisters stayed with our aunt, and the winter we spent at the hotel.
Two years later, we moved to Yakutsk. My parents bought a 2 bedroom flat with a bathroom and a balcony! Oh, I almost forgot to mention that our house in Namtsi didn’t have an indoor toilet or a bathroom. But there we had huge yard with greenhouses, a garage, lots of junk, like a boat, and space to play. According to my dad, I once asked him when we would move to a flat with a private balcony and bathroom. Oh, I was so funny and silly! 🙂
Of course I was super excited! My own balcony! At the same time, I was super sad to leave my friends and my yard/playground.
A New school, a new home, new acquaintances, a new language… Our flat was quite far from the city center, but my school was just 5 minutes walking distance away! It was fun living there – there were so many of us: grandma, my sister with my first nephew, & occasionally our friends. Also, it happened to be during one of the economically worst periods in Russia. My parents did everything possible to make our live better. Sometimes I feel so sad about it, that they spent their best years struggling and fighting for the best future for us.
A few years later, we moved to another flat. This time closer to the city center and closer to my university. My parents live in that flat to this day.
So what was special about this new place? I had my own room! Up to then, I was always sharing a room with somebody. We bought new furniture, I hung posters of my favorite show, X-Files, and painted the walls pink. I think I lived there the longest – 9 years!
I don’t know why, but since I was a kid, I’ve always wanted to live in a big city and be a part of something huge. When I was confident enough, I moved to Moscow in 2009, driven by my curiosity and desire to find love. And love didn’t find me until I had already decided to stop looking it and simply enjoy my life.
Right at the moment when I thought to myself “I’m home”, life decided to throw me a curveball.
So home has move again, now I’m here in Shanghai, with my beloved husband.
And appears that he has a similar background. BG was born in Texas, but bounced all around the United States in his childhood. He has called home: California,Oregon, Minnesota, Iowa, & Kansas. On average, moving every three years. Home for him had nothing to do with the house he was in, or the people at his schools, or the weather. Instead, Home was with his mother and father and sister, and pet dog/parrot.
The first time he lived alone was at University. It was quite an eye-opening experience and he realized that he was capable of taking care of himself. But University wasn’t home, it was just a place to study. Where was home then? When he returned to his parents’ home during his junior year, they had moved it wasn’t the same house and the home he remembered was gone.
He spent the first semester of your senior year in Russia, and realized he probably should have been born Russian. The sense of belonging there was so much higher than in the US. He understood the people more, and realized his future didn’t have to be in the office if he stayed.
So upon graduating, he found the first job he could, teaching English. He enjoyed it a lot and one year turned into several. Moscow was a place to make money, so money was made.
Unlike NNG, he wasn’t in Moscow looking for love. Love was probably the last thing on his mind. But after nine long years in Moscow, by pure chance on trip, he met the woman he knew he was going to marry in St. Petersburg.
And just as BG ‘n NGG were settling down to a happy married life, the Russian economy decided to go poop. And Moscow without money is not a fun place to be. Especially having a mortgage and American student loans.
So … Shanghai. The city we didn’t like at first sight, but gave a chance. And it worked! Shanghai is amazing! It changes every day, and it gives you the opportunity to change yourself. I’m still not sure if it is good or not, but so far we are satisfied.
Originally, we were planning to stay here for 2 years. However, upon arrival, we immediately decided to cut that in half and enjoy ‘expat life’ for just a year.
Oh well, never say never! It’s been 2 years now, and we are going for a 3rd and still not sure how long our Chinese journey will last.
I know people who came to Shanghai for the “short term” and have been living here for 9, 10, 11+ years. It’s so Shanghai, to be unpredictable and unique.
So back to the question: where is home? I don’t know. But I know, that I always find home where my heart is. It’s here, next to me, spooning me and sleeping.
Home away from home. We have found it and it’s doesn’t matter where we are.